Beige Against the Machine

"Wobbles the Mind" (wobblesthemind) 05/10/2016 at 16:51 • Filed to: Ford Escape

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I’m trying to think of the most “beige against the machine” vehicle on the market. I’m talking about a vehicle so bland and unnoticeable that even a diehard enthusiast of the brand wouldn’t give it a second thought. My vote for vehicle beiging so hard it becomes intriguing goes to the 2017 FWD Ford Escape SE with the 2.0T engine making 245hp and 275lb-ft of torque.

Curb weight of around 3,613lbs (400lbs lighter than a comparable Kia Sportage SX-Turbo), can tow up to 3,500lbs, IRS, and would never be noticed by anyone. Not saying it’s a fast crossover, but for just over $27,000, this is the most interesting purposely beige model I can think of. It’s a vehicle that you wouldn’t be able to tell an Enthusiast from a Beiger if they owned this specific version.

crowmolly > Wobbles the Mind 05/10/2016 at 16:55

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Allow me to SHO you the one you missed in Ford’s lineup:

The Chalz > Wobbles the Mind 05/10/2016 at 16:56

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Ford Escapes loose their beige status because the police use them and thus I’m forced to notice them.

Wobbles the Mind > crowmolly 05/10/2016 at 17:01

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I’m actually looking for models that are still beige though. The SHO is beige in the same way a Focus ST is beige. They are de-beigifying a model. That’s more in line with “rage against the beige,” than “beige against the machine.”

Wobbles the Mind > The Chalz 05/10/2016 at 17:03

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What?! I had no idea the police used them. In my area, there is no SUV smaller than the Explorer being used by law enforcement (the traffic end anyways).

BvdV - The Dutch Engineer > Wobbles the Mind 05/10/2016 at 17:05

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That sounds like a colour of the Opel Adam could have had:

crowmolly > Wobbles the Mind 05/10/2016 at 17:06

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So more like this:

With the 3.6 it’s 280hp/258 lb-ft.

MUSASHI66 > The Chalz 05/10/2016 at 17:11

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Police in an Escape? There is a police Explorer and a police Taurus. I’ve seen police Expeditions as well, but never a police Escape. Which police force uses those?

Wobbles the Mind > crowmolly 05/10/2016 at 17:12

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Perfect!

IanZ - limited-slip indifferential > MUSASHI66 05/10/2016 at 17:12

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Mall cops?

Wobbles the Mind > BvdV - The Dutch Engineer 05/10/2016 at 17:13

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I think it’s Mopar. There’s probably some Fiat vehicle with it right now, I’ll have to check.

MUSASHI66 > IanZ - limited-slip indifferential 05/10/2016 at 17:26

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Mall cops =/= police. Those are just regular civilian cars with stickers. Police cars are made for police duty.

Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer > Wobbles the Mind 05/10/2016 at 17:29

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Equinox for me.

OpposResidentLexusGuy - USE20, XF20, XU30 and Press Cars > Wobbles the Mind 05/10/2016 at 17:31

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I skipped right past the vehicle a d started reading the words. Then when you said the vehicle looked back up to it... This is a good choice.

PorkchoPlissken > crowmolly 05/10/2016 at 18:21

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It realm is amazing that this is the answer. I considered the current CR-V, but this is somehow even more beige.

The Chalz > MUSASHI66 05/11/2016 at 09:22

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Oh wait, the new Escapes are so beige I confused them with the Explorers. The beige is real people!